Why Transitions Are So Hard
Helping You Navigate the World of Child Development and Psychology
Nest Psychological Services, PLLC
Why Transitions Are
So Hard
“Five more minutes!”
If you've ever said this to your child and somehow created MORE chaos instead of less…
Welcome to the club.
Transitions can be surprisingly difficult for kids—and not because they're deliberately trying to make your morning miserable.
Moving from one activity to another requires several brain skills at once.
A child has to:
Stop what they're doing.
Shift attention.
Manage their disappointment.
Remember what they're supposed to do next.
Initiate the new task.
Regulate their emotions while doing all of the above.
That's a LOT.
And for kids whose executive functioning skills are still developing?
It's basically a group project where nobody has read the instructions.
😂
This is why a child can happily play Legos for an hour but suddenly become extremely passionate about the injustice of brushing their teeth.
The transition is the challenge.
So what can we do?
Instead of assuming:
“They know what they're supposed to do!”
Try making the transition more predictable.
Try the 3-Step Transition:
1. Preview
“Five minutes until we clean up.”
2. Connect
“Finish the last part you're working on, then we're heading upstairs.”
3. Follow through
Use the same sequence consistently.
The goal isn't to eliminate every protest.
The goal is to reduce the amount of uncertainty the brain has to process.
And here's a little secret:
Predictability often works better than repetition.
If we're saying:
“Come on. Let's go. Come on. We're late. I said shoes. Why aren't your shoes on?!”
…while the child is still playing Minecraft…
we may technically be communicating.
But their brain may not have a clear transition plan.
Try:
“Five-minute warning. Then shoes. Then car.”
Same words.
Same sequence.
Same expectation.
Over time, the routine becomes familiar—and familiar requires less cognitive effort.
This week, choose ONE difficult transition.
Bedtime.
School mornings.
Leaving the playground.
Homework.
Getting off electronics.
Don't overhaul your entire household.
Just make one transition more predictable.
Because we're not trying to create perfectly obedient children.
We're helping developing brains practice flexibility, planning, and regulation.
And yes, sometimes they will still dramatically collapse onto the floor.
Neuroscience is powerful.
It is not magic.;)
Next Week: When you have to scrap it all.
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