The Routine Isn't Working...Or is it?
Helping You Navigate the World of Child Development and Psychology
Nest Psychological Services, PLLC
The Routine Isn't Working…Or Is It?
If you've created a beautiful routine chart and your child is STILL melting down, please don't throw the chart away just yet.
I see this all the time.
A parent decides:
“We need structure!”
So they create the chart.
The morning checklist.
The bedtime routine.
The color-coded schedule.
Possibly even a laminated chart.
Because apparently adulthood means owning a laminator. 😂
And then…
The child ignores it.
Cue frustration.
But here's something important:
A routine isn't a strategy. It's a skill.
Kids don't automatically know how to use a routine just because we've created one.
They may need:
Modeling
Practice
Reminders
Visual cues
Reinforcement
Adult support
Repetition
Think about learning to ride a bike.
We wouldn't hand a child a bicycle and say:
“The instructions are right there. Good luck.”
Yet sometimes that's essentially what we do with routines.
We create the chart and expect independence immediately.
Instead, try scaffolding.
At first:
“What's the first step?”
Then:
“Check your routine.”
Eventually:
They check it independently.
That's the goal.
Not adult prompting forever.
Not perfection.
Gradual independence.
One more important piece:
Pay attention to the size of the routine.
If your child's morning routine has 14 steps, you may have accidentally created a second job.
Start smaller.
Bathroom → clothes → breakfast → backpack → shoes.
Simple.
Predictable.
Repeatable.
Then build from there.
And remember:
The purpose of a routine isn't to make your child perform like a tiny productivity influencer.
It's to reduce cognitive load and help them know what comes next.
Next Week: When They Say "I don't care!"
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