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Writer's pictureHeidi Hawkins

3 Keys to Trauma Behavior Support



WHEN REWARDS & CONSEQUENCES WON'T WORK

Trauma-Informed Behavior: 3 Essential Skills for Educators and Parents


If you feel like you have tried everything, and problem behaviors are still happening...consider that maybe you haven't tried everything. You have just tried everything you know. Understanding and supporting children who have experienced trauma is more crucial than ever. Trauma-informed behavior goes beyond traditional approaches of rewards and consequences, focusing instead on empathy, understanding, and relationship-building. This is proven to change the brain and therefore, change behavior. Children with any trauma history often operate in a stress response brain. Humans process information bottom to top. That means the emotions and safety part of our brain will determine how the rest of our brain processes the world around us. Rewards and consequences can trigger the stress response due to the shame and failure associated with pressure of rewards and consequences. This can inadvertently retraumatize a child. Here are 3 Key Skills to Start with for Long Term Improvement of Behavior.


1. Empathy and Connection:

One of the fundamental principles of trauma-informed care is empathy. Instead of relying solely on rewards and consequences, educators and parents must prioritize building authentic connections with children who have experienced trauma. This means taking the time to understand the child's perspective, acknowledging their emotions, and validating their experiences.

Here are some examples:

Imagine a student, let's call him Alex, who frequently acts out in class. Rather than immediately resorting to disciplinary measures, the teacher takes a moment to connect with Alex. She learns that he recently moved to a new school and is struggling to adjust. Instead of reprimanding him, she offers support and reassurance, helping him feel understood and valued.


Consider a parent, Sarah, whose child, Emma, often becomes withdrawn and irritable at home. Instead of reacting with frustration, Sarah takes a trauma-informed approach. She sits down with Emma and gently asks her how she's feeling. Through open communication and empathetic listening, Sarah discovers that Emma is feeling anxious about an upcoming family event. By validating Emma's emotions and offering comfort, Sarah strengthens their bond and helps Emma feel safe.


2. Regulation and Co-Regulation:

Another essential skill for trauma-informed behavior is regulation. Children who have experienced trauma may struggle with emotional dysregulation, making it challenging for them to manage their feelings and behaviors. Educators and parents can support children by teaching them self-regulation techniques and providing co-regulation when needed.

Here are some examples:

In the classroom, a student named Mia often becomes overwhelmed during group activities. Instead of reprimanding her for disruptive behavior, the teacher implements co-regulation strategies. She sits beside Mia, offering gentle reassurance and modeling deep breathing exercises. Through this supportive approach, Mia learns to regulate her emotions and participate more effectively in class.


At home, a parent named David notices that his son, Jake, is becoming increasingly agitated while trying to complete his homework. Instead of scolding him for his frustration, David sits down with Jake and suggests they take a short break together. They go for a walk outside, engaging in conversation and enjoying each other's company. Through this shared experience, David helps Jake regulate his emotions and return to his homework with a calmer mindset.


3. Flexibility and Adaptability:

Lastly, flexibility is essential when implementing trauma-informed behavior. Adjust your mindset. Let go of behaviorism. Instead focus on the need. Don't take things personal, check your own emotional reactions, and calm the brain with strategies that do work. Educators and parents must be willing to adapt their approaches. The good news is that trauma informed behavior approaches are good for most children anyway.

Examples:

In the classroom, a student named Lily often struggles to complete assignments on time due to difficulties with executive functioning. Instead of penalizing her for missed deadlines, the teacher works with Lily to develop a personalized plan for task completion. They break down assignments into smaller steps, set realistic goals, allow Lily to choose which task she does first, and celebrate progress together. Through this collaborative approach, Lily feels supported, safe, and empowered to succeed academically.


At home, a parent named Mark notices that his daughter, Sofia, becomes overwhelmed in noisy environments. Instead of insisting she attend a crowded family gathering, Mark offers Sofia alternative options for spending time together. They have a quiet movie night at home, complete with popcorn and blankets. By respecting Sofia's need for a calm environment, Mark strengthens their bond and shows her that her comfort and well-being are a top priority.


In conclusion, cultivating trauma-informed behavior requires a shift away from traditional disciplinary methods and towards a more compassionate, understanding approach focused on calming and therefore healing the stress response. By prioritizing empathy, regulation, and flexibility, educators and parents can create environments where children feel safe, supported, and empowered to thrive despite their trauma histories.


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