As parents and educators, acknowledging children's fears—especially around traumatic events like school shootings—is crucial for their emotional and psychological well-being. School shootings can trigger deep fears and anxiety in children and adolescents. When children express these emotions, they are attempting to make sense of their environment, and their concerns are a natural response to feeling unsafe.
1 in 4 students fears a school shooting could happen at their school (Source: Pew Research Center)
That elevation of worry increases activation of the sympathetic nervous system and decreases activation of the parasympathetic nervous system. Why does that matter? When the sympathetic system is overactive (your stress response system) then the learning part of the brain is underactive.
Ignoring or minimizing these emotions can lead to feelings of isolation, heightened anxiety, and even a lack of trust in adults. However, when adults validate and acknowledge their fears, children feel heard, understood, and supported. This emotional validation fosters resilience, helping children process their emotions in a healthy way and providing them with a sense of safety, even in an unpredictable world. This improves emotional, physical, and mental thinking abilities.
10 Ways Adults Can Support and Talk to Children to Increase Felt Safety
Listen Without Judgment. Create a space where children feel they can express their emotions openly. Avoid rushing to give solutions or dismiss their feelings with statements like “Don’t worry” or “Everything will be fine.” Listening shows respect for their feelings and helps them feel heard.
Acknowledge Their Feelings. Say things like, "I can see you're feeling really scared about this, and that's okay." Let them know that their feelings are valid and important.
Offer Age-Appropriate Explanations. Give children information that matches their developmental level. Younger kids need simple, reassuring facts, while older kids may benefit from more detailed discussions about safety measures and the unlikeliness of these events.
Focus on Safety Plans. Reassure children by discussing the measures in place at school to keep them safe. Knowing about security protocols and emergency plans can reduce their anxiety.
Model Emotional Regulation. Children often take emotional cues from adults. If you can model calmness while discussing difficult topics, you give them a sense of safety and help them learn how to manage their own emotions in stressful situations.
Empower Them With Tools. Help children feel more in control by teaching them calming techniques, like deep breathing or mindfulness, that they can use when they feel anxious or afraid.
Limit Media Exposure. Overexposure to news about traumatic events can increase anxiety in children. Monitor and limit how much news they consume, particularly graphic or alarming content. Discuss the news with them when appropriate to help them process it in a healthy way.
Encourage Questions. Allow children to ask questions, even difficult ones. Answer them honestly while keeping your explanations appropriate to their age. This helps children feel more in control of the information they’re receiving.
Encourage Routine and Normalcy. Maintaining regular routines gives children a sense of stability and security. When things feel predictable, children are more likely to feel safe and less anxious.
Be Available and Open for Ongoing Conversations. Let them know they can always come to you with concerns, and that their feelings may change over time. An ongoing dialogue shows that their fears are valid, even if they don't go away immediately, and that they have a trusted person to turn to when they need reassurance.
By creating an open, supportive environment where children's fears are validated, parents and educators can provide the reassurance children need to feel safe, even in a world that sometimes feels uncertain. This approach builds emotional resilience and helps children learn healthy ways to cope with fear and anxiety. It also improves learning, memory, and physical wellness.
Reach out with your concerns, questions, or requests for information at www.nestpsychological.com
Commentaires